Last chance ...

Ok, Valentine's day is tomorrow and if you're ill prepared, here are a few last minute emergency tips.

1. Luckily shops are open till 9pm so you still have time to pick something up.

2. I've always wondered why women like flowers, they die in the next few days so it doesn't rate highly in terms of 'value for money'. Why don't you get them something that lasts ... like a hammer, ever see a broken hammer? They last for ages!

3. On second thought, don't get the hammer. After unwrapping the gift, she may use it to 'hammer' you. Get her roses instead ... thornless ones in case she decides to throw it at you.

4. If for some oddball reason you can't get to the shops by 9pm and they're all closed, there is a 24hr pharmacy along Beaufort St. And no ... headache tablets, sanitary pads, laxatives are not appropriate gifts.

5. If your partner is not into gifts, tell her that she doesn't need gifts to know 'that you lub her'.

6. Also mention 'I said I lubbed you long ago, that should be good enough for you. If I change my mind I'll let you know.'

7. If all else fails, tie a ribbon around your head / neck, knock on her door and when she opens it, yell 'tada!'

[Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any injuries or break ups incurred due to these advice. Have a nice (injury free) Valentine's everyone ...]

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Quotes on marriage ...

There'll be a few weddings coming up this year so I thought it would be appropriate to share the following ... enjoy while you can!

Recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.  ~David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. ~Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. ~Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. ~Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. ~Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want? ~Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. ~Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
 ~Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." ~Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." ~James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't." ~Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
 ~Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. ~Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. ~Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. ~Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. ~Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. ~Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." ~Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
 ~Anonymous

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Korean Casanova ...

In my continuing efforts to help my fellow men for the impending V-Day, watch and learn! The Korean Casanova!

[I'm not entirely sure, but I think you're meant to flabbergast your opponent with your words. One thing for sure Lee Jong Soo (the guy) is quite the sweet talker! Had a good laugh while watching this, I really needed one too.]

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Nothing box ...

Aahhh yes, I have a big 'nothing box'. Hope this helps you to understand your enemy partner a little better.

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Because I'm a Girl ...

Noooo ... I'm not saying that I'm a girl. I'm referring to the name of the song of this video. It was sung by a Korean girl group called KISS, this was their one hit wonder. You've probably seen this already but in light of Valentine's, I thought I'd stoke those embers of passion that some of you might have.

A couple of observations ...

He uses a Nikon camera ... good taste =).

He was quick enough to get a snap of the girl. That was no accident I tell ya!

He frequents a hair saloon with pretty ladies better trained staff instead of the old barber shop ... good good.

Overreacts to a little shampoo ... what a wuss!

Overall, a nice script though. Notice the contrast, shampoo gets into the guys eyes, then film developing liquid gets into hers. In giving up his eyes, he gives up not only his sight but also his livelihood.

I reckon instead of giving both his eyes, he should have given just one. Then both of them can still see and live happily ever after! Hohohoho, romantic leeehhhhh ... dun say I never help you in your 'lub life' oohhh =)

[The video above has better quality so watch that first. Then if you need english translations, click here.]

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A woman needs a man ...

Hey, I didn't say that ... she did in this article ...

Oh well, I'll leave you all to dissect, ponder and come to your own conclusions ... my brain isn't functioning at the moment ...

[some might question ... did my brain ever work? who knows?]

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Lamborghini == Jessica Alba?

Lamborghini == Jessica Alba?, originally uploaded by ~g~.

Was having a chat with my ex-cell leader where she shared about an interesting conversation her cell was having. Now I hope I understand the conversation correctly, you know how 'chinese whispers' work.

So during dinner / coffee, the topic of conversation becomes BGR [Boy Girl Relationships ... surprise surprise. How could they do such a thing? How dare they discuss this topic WITHOUT ME!!!]

Well, along the way, the guys were discussing who they thought was pretty and the name Jessica Alba is mentioned. Now here is where it gets interesting. Someone comes up with this analogy and [a guy I presume] likens Jessica Alba to a Lamborghini. Extremely beautiful yet impractical, something you would only admire from afar. [Chi quai ~mandarin ie strange~]

Well, this thought churned through my mind today [see what rubbish I fill my brain with] and well, it doesn't make sense to me. Say if you had the opportunity of marrying someone who is beautiful, intelligent and down-to-earth, wouldn't you? I guess what I'm trying to say here is 'marry someone whom you're wholeheartedly in love with'. It is not about marrying someone like Jessica Alba but about wanting to spend your whole life with that special someone. Don't settle for second best just because the time is ticking or because you're being pressured by your parents/partner etc. Marriage is hard enough without needing you to second guess your partner or the reasons why you got married. So let me reiterate a point from Sunday, 'marry well'

[If Jessica Alba happens to appear on your doorstep declaring her unreserved love for you, please think long and hard before refusing her because she is 'untouchable'. Of course you'll need to get to know her before deciding. So as a service to you, send her over to me and I'll sacrifice my time to get to know her and determine if she is right for you. I think a pretty good judge of character. Muahahahaahah ... blogger's diahorrea continues ... ]

So, now that I've got that off my chest, here is my car analogy. The Honda HSC which bears a remarkable resemblance to my life. The car, like my partner is purely a concept. Although it does have one important trait about her: Made in Japan [:P]

Honda_HSC Originally uploaded by ~g~.

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First time in church after 6 weeks away ... what a weird day ...

Hi everyone, I'm here blogging at 4:30am on Monday morning. "Why?", you may ask? Jet-lag, having being on the US timezone for 6 weeks, I'll need a few days to get my body clock back in order. So last night, I fell asleep during 'Grey's Anatomy', a bummer I know but I saw a few episodes in the US that were a few episodes later than those shown here so I roughly know what's going to happen.

Ok, yesterday was my first day at church for a long time. It was great to see familiar faces again and also see some new faces around. Yesterday's service was a special one with a 'child dedication' at the end. Basically it is where the parents dedicate the lives of their children to God. That was the nice part, the weird parts were in the beginning and the end.

Before our pastor started preaching the message of the day he asked us to imagine being married [Wooohoooo!! I'm married], then to imagine that I have a child [Oh ... I have a child? Ok ...]. So there I was, trying to think of a wife and child. The only thing that popped into my head was an African American wife and a baby daughter. I've never thought of either two before and I've always wanted a boy! Worse still, the pastor asked for volunteers to share their thoughts and my dear friends yelled out my name. [Where is Roy when you need him?]. When pastor heard my name, he commented "Oh ... ~g~ will take a long time ...". Anyway, much to my dismay, I told everyone about my baby girl and African American wife. Now I wasn't trying to make fun of our African congregation or anything like that, it was just what was in my head at the time [and you know that nothing much goes on up there anyway. Just goes to show that I've been in the US too long].

Ok, that was the weird part in the morning. In the afternoon, after having a fantastic lunch [we ate at Good One BBQ, food was usual but after not having chinese food for 6 weeks, it was heavenly.] So a group of us was making our way to Baskin-Robbins, the a woman from our group starts tugging at my shirt and pulling them out of my pants at which time alarms bells began to ring in my head [you see, my t-shirt was tucked into my pants]. Here were the thoughts running in my head:

• "What... is there a bug there somewhere?"
• "Did something get tangled with your purse?"
• "Hellooooo .., you're MARRIED! ... "
• "Where were you BEFORE you got MARRIED?"
  
• "When is your husband going to jump me and beat me to a pulp? I can picture it now ... me lying sprawled on the pavement along Albany Hwy with foam flowing out of my mouth ..."
  

After I had gained control of my clothing and asked her why she was tugging at my shirt, she explained that I had committed a fashion faux pas by tucking my shirt into my pants. [In my defense, I had worn a jacket in the morning and since the day had gotten warmer, I had left it in my car]. My mum and sis used to tell me what to wear, I think they've given up by now. They still do comment on each other's attire, all they end up achieving is prolonging the time it takes for them to dress up.

So all this 'tugging at my shirt' business made me think. What else do married women have control over their husbands? After having observed the couples I've known, the following rings true:

• Finances - she controls it. Somehow somewhere, when the men signed the marriage certificate, there was some fine print in invisible ink that states she now decides what the man can spend. So that means ... no more gadgets / electronics, toy radio controlled cars ... generally all the fun toys that ALL MEN SHOULD HAVE.
• Food - she controls it. Not only will she tell you what to eat, she will eat your food, give you her left overs or even switch your food with hers when she doesn't like her food! Oh ... not to mention the first point above, you end up paying for it.
• The way you dress - she controls it. You may not be aware but husbands have some weird psychological effects on their wives. If you happen to wear something that she doesn't like, her mood changes, something like instant PMS. She now HATES you and that will go on until you wear WHAT SHE WANTS YOU TO WEAR.
• Your time - she controls it. "What to play tennis after church?" The usual answer is "ask my wife". Need I say more?

Now, I'm not trying to portray wives as being evil [not evil ... I wouldn't go that far ... maybe slightly sadistic in a good way?], they're just a few quirks I've seen in some married couples that I just find strange. Sometimes I just want to drag the men aside and ask "how did it get to this?" and be ready with some tissues if the tears start to flow and they need a shoulder to cry on. Married men, I'm here for you. [You know what, even after this post, I think I'll eventually end up as one of those men I described above. Be assured though, I'll go down kicking and screaming!!! BTW. Sorry for the long post, I haven't blogged for a while and I now have 'blogging diarrhoea'. Lots of crap being disseminated.]

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Love at cell ...

Tip no 5, finding love at cell

When you think about it, finding love at cell is rather fitting isn't it? You get to see each other at least once a week, you spend quite a lot of time with each other in a group setting & you're able to see how the other party interacts with his/her friends.

A while ago, we played this little game as the ice breaker at the beginning of cell. Basically, every cell member has a blank sheet of paper stuck on their back. Then everyone would arm themselves with a pen and go round writing encouraging and thoughtful words on each other's backs. ie. the messages written on the sheet of paper on my back are messages for me. [Still with me? Do you follow?]

Here is my sheet of encouragement:

For those who have trouble reading, here are what they wrote:
- Great man to be with.
- Man of God!
- Helpful and polite.
- Polite and gentle.
- Reliable.
- Comp[uter] nerd => Ditto! [WHHAAAAATTTT!?!?!]

Now you know why I cry myself to sleep every night. [Just joking ... not every night. Only Wednesday nights when my cell meets.]

Seriously, we're a fun bunch of people really. We have our own quirks like many other cells and we do show love to one another. [The 'tough love' kind].Most importantly we learn about the love of God. Isn't that the greatest love to find at cell?

From my cell, originally uploaded by ~g~.

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Valentines Day ...

Mug
Originally uploaded by ~g~.

How was your Valentines Day? In any case, hope you enjoyed the day.

Tip no 4, Don't shop on Valentines Day itself at around 5pm

For Valentines Day, our cell [well, the ladies in the cell] decided to have the guys buy them a gift. So names of the girls in our group were written on small bits of paper which were folded up. Then each guy would randomly pick a piece of paper & you had to buy a gift for that person. So I had a name & a gift to buy. The budget we were told was about $5 although that increased to $10.

We all joked about getting weird gifts, getting gifts from the $2 shop or the reject shop. I could only imagine what the girls were thinking. Anyway, I had the perfect idea. Picture this, a Barbie doll [warning: lots of pink]. However, not just a Barbie doll, but a personalised ~g~ version. I would start off by pulling the head, arms & legs off the torso. Taking a marker pen & freely drawing on the body parts. Do my Edward Scissorhands impression by cutting Barbie's hair. Now I know what you all must be wondering, don't fear, she'll still be fully clothed. I'm not THAT sick.

Perfect plan right? Well with every action, there are consequences to consider. You see, this girl whom I'm supposed to give a gift to, has a brother who is bigger than me. Also, we regularly have our cell gatherings at their home. Due to that fact [& this is the big one], I see their mother every time at cell. Imagine trying to explain to a parent why you gave their daughter a mutilated Barbie doll. Can't explain it? Neither could I, so that idea went out the window.

So due to my lack of planning, I had buy the gift on Valentines Day. So that involved going to work very early [I arrived in the office at 7am] so I could leave early [left at 4pm] and head to Garden City for some last minute shopping. Picture this, it is 5pm ... a guy ... alone ... looking through gifts for girls around the $5-$10 mark ... the sales ladies were looking at me as if I was the lowest scum in the earth ... I wouldn't be surprised if the sales ladies were thinking ... "How dare you leave your gift buying to the last minute!!!" ... "How dare you look in the 'reduced' basket of goods" ... "I pity the poor girl who's going out with this l.o.s.e.r" ... I could feel their eyes tracking my every move ... how could I explain to them that this is just for a friend? How could I explain to them that the budget I was given is $5-$10? Anyway, I popped into House, bought a mug [pictured above] and a spoon. Then raced into Woolworths to get some crimson seedless grapes.

Got home, washed the cup, spoon and grapes. Then picked the grapes off their vines & placed them inside the cup. Wrapped it up quickly & headed off to Heathcote.

Someone asked "what does this [gift] mean?" Well, I didn't intend it to mean anything. It was a gift for a friend on Valentines, simple as that. If it was to mean something, it would probably be something like this:

Grapes are considered the fruit of the gods. A fruit held in high esteem, found in tombs of the rich. A cup which can hold life sustaining water from the earth. However it cannot hold 'living water' which is in Him whom is already within you. Hope you enjoyed the gift.

[I'll set aside the Barbie doll for next year. Hahahahahahaha]

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Public declaration of love

Tip no 3, a public declaration of your love

For those of you who subscribe to the West Australian newspaper, you'll know that they publish the The Book of Love which is a section of the newspaper containing messages of love.

How this works is that you can go online to their website, type in your message of love and make payment. On Valentine's Day, your message of love is published in the 'Book of Love', so naturally you'd have to make sure the person whom your message is for has a copy of the newspaper that day.

We've been subscribing to the newspaper for a long time so naturally when Feb 14th rolls over, I can't help but be curious as to what messages are contained in the 'Book of Love' so I usually flick through. Messages are usually short & I've seen a few wedding proposals on there.

Ok, I'll admit that I've flicked through to the G section [the messages are sorted by the name of the recipient of the message] to see if there are messages for other people who have the same name as myself and one particular year, I found this:

G*****
I love you not because of who you are,
but because of who I am when I am with you.
-Roger

My reaction ... "WHAT!?!!?!?!?!?" ... I quickly run through my head to see if I know anyone by that name, thankfully I don't.[There was a 'Roger' in high school but he doesn't count]

Hopefully this won't happen.

If it does, my response would be:

[Note: I did see a message in the 'Book of Love' a few years ago addressed to someone with the same name as myself & it was indeed from a guy. However I can't remember the actual message or the name of the sender so the message & the name used in the post above is fictional. So I guess you can say that it was inspired by actual events. I generated the signs from this website. There are lots on the internet, just do a search for 'sign generator']

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Sunset at the beach

Tip No 2, Sunset at the beach.

Picture this. You're work is done, the weekend beckons. You pop into the restrooms & change into your t-shirt & short pants. Your partner gives you a call telling you that he is outside your office, you pop down to find him also in his t-shirt & shorts. A broad smile on his face, a white frangipani flower on the passenger seat. A nice surprise, you thought.

Zooming down Stirling Hwy, the throng of cars decrease as you get closer to the coast. The air is cool to the skin & you can smell the sea air as the breeze flows through your open window. The sun is still up in the sky [thanks to daylight saving] yet the heat of the day is gone, replaced with the warmth of the evening.

Your car stops just outside Blue Duck at Cottesloe Beach, he opens the door [old fashioned but still nice eh?], pecks you on the cheek & holds your hand. As his fingers envelope yours, he gives it a gentle squeeze & you chuckle. Ushered to a table with the magnificent beach in view, he orders the Morrocan Lamb Fillets, while you opt for the Salmon Steak Japanese Style. Dinner is peppered with talk about life, "have you heard Norah Jones' new album?" ... "let's go see Music & Lyrics sometime".

Dinner ends & the sun is near the horizon. So both of you pop-off your shoes & head down into the beach. Pants rolled up, you walk by the water's edge soothed by the cool waves splashing at your feet, rivers of sand grains flowing through your toes. Utterly refreshing. He sprays some sea water at you & you retaliate by kicking some sand in his direction, then the moment comes. The water turns a reflective orange as the sun begins to disappear into the ocean. He gives you a hug & the both of you stand still, to see the sky fill with shades of red, pink, purple & blue. For a moment, life was just about you & him [& the Man upstairs peering down, with a smile on His face.].

At the Beach, originally uploaded by ~g~.

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Love actually ...

So it is the month of February already. Funny that it feels like we just finished celebrating Christmas, what happened to January? Anyway, what is the most important day in February? Valentines of course & so I'll try to blog about topics related to relationships / love etc. Why? Because I'm senile that's why.

How to celebrate Valentines? To begin with, plan what you're going to do with your significant other now. The earlier the better because you're not the only one who will be celebrating Feb 14th. The whole world will be [well, ok ... except in some countries like Iraq, they have more important things to worry about.]

Tip no 1, dining out at a restaurant

A classic, some may say it is boring but there is nothing better than the anticipation of that big chunk of steak you've been craving for all month ... oh ... also to eat with your partner too. [Have I mentioned that I'm nuts]. Seriously, make it special [ie. put some effort]. Pick her up from work. Present her with a single stemmed rose. Get the both of you to dress up for dinner. For the men, a nice shirt, pressed pants, black leather shoes. For the ladies, a nice dress. Just for today, no jeans ok? Complement your partner on how great he/she looks [everyone likes a complement].

Now choice of restaurant, no hawker type places puuulllleeeeaaassseeee. You're dressed up & should go to a nicer place. I was speaking to a friend & she mentioned that the best restaurant in Perth is Jackson's in Highgate. A sumptuous 9 course meal in fact. Second best is a bit of a drive in Mundaring called Loosebox. The food at both places is expensive [we're talking about from AUD$95 per person] but you're not just paying to fill you're stomach. You're paying for the service, presentation of food, the experience, something you'll remember for years to come. By the way, the food looks great at their website so bring a camera. Be discrete though, you're there to enjoy the time with your partner, not to take pictures for you to blog. Oh ... most important, turn off that darn mobile phone!

Ok, that's it for now. More tips in the coming days ... [just realised, Feb 14th is on Wednesday ... cell?!?!?!?!? buah haaah haaaah haaaaaaaah :~(~~@]

[Update: It's not about spending lots of money or getting caught up in this whole Valentine's day hype. It's about spending time with your significant other & putting some effort in to make it special. No matter how you spend your Valentine's (it doesn't even have to be celebrated on the 14th), just enjoy each other. Wooooohoooooo!!! By the way, even if you don't have a significant other, just spending time with close friends can be wonderful too!!!]

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Frustrated ...

Here is an excerpt of a discussion recently, let's call her Jane:

Jane: I'm so disappointed. I bought a packet of pistachio nuts & they were too salty. I've bought these before & they were never this salty. Should I take them back?

Me: Take them back.

Jane: But what if they say that the nuts are supposed to be this salty?

Me: Well, just try. If they refuse to give you a refund, then just leave it at that.

Jane: But I'm too embarrassed to take them back ...

Me: ??? [=.="]

Then it dawned on me [some may say 'duuuhhhh'] that Jane wasn't looking for a solution at all but instead was just telling me what was bothering her. Somehow that is enough & she is able to let go of the issue. Don't ask me how or why but that is just the way it is sometimes.

As for me, I got a little frustrated. When there is a problem, I like to fix it. Whether it is changing a light bulb or tightening a loose screw, when a problem arises something [very very deep deep] inside just springs to life & is ready to resolve the issue. However when a woman tells you her problems & leaves it at that, it is almost like watching a movie & stopping at the most exciting scene ... you're left hanging ... incomplete ... & you know that this [her] problem is going to bug you for the rest of the evening.

[~Sigh~ Oh well, life goes on. My frustration is probably brought on by work. Spent 2 days looking for a bug in my program which turned out to originate from someone else's program. So basically 2 days & nothing got fixed .... see why I'm frustrated? I need a drink ...]

[Side note: So why are women so complicated? Why do they talk about 5 topics at once? Why do they talk so much? The books in my previous post do answer these questions. Hahahaha ... the YA combined was fun last night. Still lots to learn about women though ... ]

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All about love ...

Discussed at cell tonight:

Cell leader: For those who are attached, what are your dreams in a relationship?

Girlfriend: [While looking at boyfriend] Dreams? I used to have a lot. [Everyone cracked up laughing]

Boyfriend: That's because they have already been fulfilled. [Nice save brother!]

At cell tonight, the topic was last Sunday's sermon ie. Love. There was plenty of laughter during our discussions, but one common trait that was high on everybody's list was honesty & faithfulness. Other [quirky] desirable traits that were mentioned were 'mentally sane' & 'low maintenance'. All in all, a fun discussion. We're all sensible people after all ... [except me of course, `cos I'm complicated!]

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How do they know?

My previous post about 'finding your life partner' seems to have some of my 'anonymous supporters' to come out of the closet. Then I got this e-mail today:

Even MSN is trying to get me attached!!! This along with an e-mail from someone in Africa offering me $$$, some university trying get me to go for another degree & finally some doctor offering to enlarge a member of my body. How do they know???

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So how did you two meet?

It was Sunday lunch after church last week & 2 of my male friends were having a conversation. Having arrived late after ushering, these guys had already finished their lunch. So there they were, happily chatting along something about a 'project' until one of them said:

Friend: "Isn't that right ~g~"?
Me:       "I have no idea what you said."
[I learnt long ago to not blindly say 'yes' to anything, my friend then smiled & said ...]
Friend: "Finding a partner ..."
[Here we go ... now I think that friend is single ... so I don't think he was mocking me. I paused ... then replied]
Me:       "Well, not really ..."
[At this point I kind of intrigued him, he had a curious look on his face. Now don't get me wrong, I do think it is difficult to find a life partner but this is what I meant ...]
Me:       "I tend to think it is harder to keep being married, because you've got to maintain a relationship for 70 or more years."
Friend: "You've thought about this haven't you ... "
Me:       "Why do you think I'm still single :)"

Say you live to be 100, I find it funny how in the overall scheme of things, we do the most important things during our 20s & 30s. Whether it be choosing our career, finding our life partner, acquiring a house ... let's just say our 'life experience' [ie the wisdom we gain as we grow older] is proportionate to our age, then we're making all these major decisions based on 20-30% of our knowledge. Funny isn't it?

Back to our topic ... 'finding a life partner' is also a misnomer in my view. Often you never actually 'find' your life partner, like finding a particular book in a bookshop. I tend to think that you two first meet [usually due to a common interest or activity] which builds into a friendship & finally something more. What do you think? How did you 'find' your life partner?

[Kinda personal eh? I wonder if anyone would answer this question ... nevermind, I'm quite happy to have no comments for this one. Feel free.]

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The look says it all ...

No need for words to be spoken ... just the warmth of your embrace ... the gaze of your eyes ... a brief moment in time when the world fell away & the most important thing in your life is right in front of you.

[This fantastic picture was taken by Nitsa who kindly gave me permission to use this on my site. She specialises in street photography & you can admire her work at her nonphotography website. There you'll find links to her favourite pictures (I highly recommend that), her photoblog which is updated regularly & even photo books by her which are very reasonably priced. Enjoy!]

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What an introduction ...

I was introduced to Ms Kahlua, Ms Contreau and Ms Baileys (again) a few weeks ago. Collectively they're known as the B-52 (well ... actually the real B-52 needed Ms Grand Marnier instead of Ms Contreau).

They were really sweet ... really. And as usual they set my heart a flutter again. Didn't knock me off my feet like Ms Baileys did a few weeks ago ... they were much kinder and I was more careful.

Oh ... did I also mention that I met Mr Jacob Creek's daughter, Ms Champagne too?

I may have found a new religion ... called 'alcoholism'.

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I really shouldn't have ...

She looked unassuming, innocent even. There by herself, a light brown tone, rather attractive. Without so much of a flinch, I grabbed hold ... cool she was, smooth too.

I took what she had to offer, a little at first ... weary of the dangers. After a while it didn't matter anymore as drank in her aroma. For a while, everything was fun. Laughter in the air, not a care in the world.

Then it hit. What once seemed innocent now turned ugly. It felt like my head was being pounded on the pavement, my heart heaving as if I had ran an 800 metre race. All was not well. I was desperate for air.

Eventually the danger passed and she returned to being her inviting self as if nothing ever happened.

I shouldn't have downed that glass of Baileys ... at that moment, vomiting seemed like a great proposition ... luckily no hangover. Listen to me ... stay away from Ms. Baileys, no matter how inviting she looks!!

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